Sunday, 26 November 2017

Lifestyle | 6 things that are vital for a happy relationship

This is a little bit of a random post for me to write, I could count on one hand the amount of people I talk to about my relationship and I especially don't ever talk about my relationship online, I like to keep things private.
Movies make falling in love look like its the most easiest, most possible thing in the world. I'm sure for some it is but not for everyone. I mean, we all want the same things love, security, trust and loyalty so why is it so hard to find someone long term?
Finding somebody to fall in love with can be quite testing and pretty hard but also the most intense best feeling in the world and it is worth it in my opinion. These are things I think are just as important as trust and honesty in a relationship.
Honesty & Trust aren't on the list because they are the two foundations of a relationship if your not honest with each other you won't trust each other which then, to me means you should walk away. Don't ever settle for somebody who can't be honest with you if that means you can't trust them.

paris 2015

Communication

Communication is so vital in a relationship, it is up there with one of the most important things in a relationship. I won't let anything build up if I'm unhappy with something I will let him know straight away and if I'm super happy with something I will also let him know that also. We say sorry when we mean it and we don't let an argument drag out because if its not that important then were wasting time on something negative which neither of us want to spend our time doing so. 

Understanding

This is something I had to learn over time. I was good at understanding somebody to a certain degree and then I would come to a halt when somebody would act in a way or say something that is completely alien to me. Usually if someone you don't really want to take the time to understand then you do your own thing individually but when its someone you love you have to learn to understand their individual quirks. Once you open your mind and they do the same you learn why they do certain things and how they've experienced things a little different which in return makes them act a little different than you might and vice versa. 
For instance, I would never understand why he will not talk to me when he's making something or playing a game (now I know men simply can't multitask its not a myth guys!) and he would never understand why some days I would suddenly feel anxious. Understanding eachother is so important it helps a lot and makes the other feel better knowing you've got their back, I now wait until he's finished concentrating til I ask him something and he helps me calm down and get through things when I'm feeling anxious (even if it means leaving work early to come and meet me in London at my first event!)

Support

My other half is hands down one of the most supportive people I've ever met. I could literally turn round and be like 'I think I might try at being an acrobat' and he'd be like 'sweet babe,you've got this' which is amazing. Theres a lot of things I wouldn't have tried if it wasn't for his belief in me. I think we tend to talk about things we'd dream of doing with our other halves, just in random conversations but whenever him & I chat, he always seems to turn a random not very thought out idea into a goal. I wouldn't even be writing this blog if it wasn't for him telling me I could and should start again and I know if I was single or without his support I would 100% have put my blog or my ideas on the back burner and left them. Its that little bit of support from someone else that pushes us that extra step further.

Humour

I think humour is actually really important in a relationship. I am telling you now no one has seen me act so strange and bizarre like my other half has - he's my best mate. We can spend hours laughing at something that isn't remotely funny or something really childish like the time we went to Whipsnade Zoo to stay in overnight. We did a sunset tour and it was the zoo keeper and a small group of about 8 people in total (so super quiet) The zoo keeper was going into detail about how 'big' the elephant is and its the only word I kept hearing big this and biggest that, then to my horror the elephants... 'manhood' shall we call it? was out on display and nobody clocked it except us and we were giggling like school kids in a small silent group and I honestly thought I was going to pass out because we was practically turning red trying to keep our laughter in. It wasn't even that funny, I think it was just the timing with what the zoo keeper was saying but it was one of those moments where your supposed to be quiet you end up wanting to laugh more but I love moments like that with him proper silly immature moments that you think you've grown out of and I love that.

Commitment

The most important thing for a relationship is commitment. Society nowadays has introduced more ways on how to get the base and feel of a gf/bf but without the commitment. If your looking for a long term 'real' relationship then your going to need to commit to each other. People seem to be scared of commitment, even the thought of marriage to some people scares them, the 'till death do us part' makes people think they are in lockdown and in for a lifetime of unhappy marriage, rules and regulations. Thats not a marriage. Nobody should commit to somebody who doesn't reach their needs or make them happy Although, sometimes in a long term relationship there will be times that person won't always meet your needs and your won't meet theirs either but commitment is what will bring you together so you will be meeting each others needs equally. 
Every couple has an enormous challenge to stay devoted through your relationship a long time after the 'honeymoon phase' but if your committed and you stick with it (both equally) then you'll always come out on top and always have each other.

Respect

Respect is hugely important in a relationship. You have to give respect in order to receive it. When you have mutual respect you instantly have support, trust and you value each others independence. I'm talking about honest respect, I don't mean the respect out of fear or if you've put someone on a pedestal and your infatuated. I'm talking about that true real respect when you see someone and all their flaws and still feeling that appreciation for them. In order to respect someone you must respect your self first, when you really treat each other with respect it completely changes things and can help you get over so many obstacles, Love is clearly important but I honestly believe respect is what keeps it together its what keeps us connected and passionate with a better understanding and support to get over numerous hurdles. Respect is crucial to a long term relationship.

I hope you liked a more personal post, I don't talk about relationships much but I love reading them and when I was going through rough patches in the past I'd love reading these kinds of posts to help me see the bigger picture and to help me realise that yes maybe I am being a bit dramatic because as long as we have the main basis to a relationship I'm sure we'll be fine so I'll let him off for not emptying the dishwasher because on the grand scheme of things it really isn't that important.
These are just my views and obviously there is so much more you could add to the list but these are my top 6.

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2 comments

  1. I completely agree with all of these! Especially humour, my boyfriend makes me laugh constantly and we're always being silly together. I think it's so important to be able to have fun and enjoy each other's company. Commitment is a huge one, if you don't trust each other then there's literally no point! x

    Alice www.accordingtoalicex.com

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    1. awww thats cute! Yeah trust is really important and honesty! - Alicia Xo

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