After having the worst skin I’ve ever had I have stripped everything back. I know I’ve mentioned my skin a lot but honestly, my entire body was/still is covered in Eczema, it really toyed with my confidence and I never realised how awful, bad skin could make you feel and the importance of not letting physical imperfections bother you. I’ve gone on a complete unintentional journey when it comes to beauty, what makes me feel confident, what makes me feel like utter crap and I noticed such a change in my confidence since having bad skin, I couldn’t wear makeup because I had Eczema on my face and I couldn’t wear certain clothes because I didn’t want to have my arms out or my waist because it was so aggressive and for the first time in so long I felt really self-conscious in anything but a jumper and leggings.
I’ve recently been reading The Inner Beauty Bible by Laurey Simmons and it has inspired me a lot and I’ve taken a completely different route when it comes to beauty, skincare and fashion. There’s one part of the book which has a quote by Ram Dass and it says ‘When you go into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees and some of them are bent and some of them are straight, some of them are evergreens and some of them are whatever and you look at the tree and allow it, you appreciate it. You see why it is the way it is, you sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light so it turned that way you don’t get emotional about it you just allow it’ I think this is actually such a true statement, slightly long but true. I think this just makes so much sense and it really did make me realise that we are all so different and yes my skin was bloody awful but people meeting me wouldn’t know any different, they can judge but why do I care? We are all so different and should be proud of that but it is bloody hard to understand that and it is so hard to appreciate little things and appreciate and love yourself when you feel like your body is fighting against you instead of healing you.
It also doesn’t help when social media is filtered and flawless and makes you feel like shit, I had never been so envious of people with normal looking eyelids! I’d see eyeshadow covered eyelids and cry because I couldn’t even wear mascara which is why I took a little break off of Social Media. I found some new babes to follow that would encourage me and I’ve realised that I don’t enjoy themes so much anymore and I don’t enjoy the filtered versions, I know we all judge our behind the scenes to somebody else’s highlight reel but I quite like the behind the scenes, I love bloopers and I want to use social media to make me laugh, to enjoy creativity and to relate. I was using social media to follow 40 girls that all looked the same (I honestly thought one girl had posted 20 photos when it was actually multiple girls who dressed exactly the same with exactly the same makeup!) This was when I went on a little unfollow spree and found new people to follow, more diverse, some I found inspiring, some more relatable, some super creative, fashion pages, beauty pages, animal pages all sorts of pages and I’ve never loved Instagram more. I was filling my feed with multiple people who dressed the same, had the same backdrops and it got boring and I don’t know why I didn’t clear my feed sooner!
I understand that Social Media is the highlight reel of peoples lives and I can confirm that it is scary putting yourself out there, I haven’t posted because I’ve had too much Eczema on my body and I am clearly having the same pressures of my feed being my highlight reel, so maybe I should make the change it myself and follow the people who do the same and see how that goes? Posting a picture where you can see my scars or my blemishes because I don’t want my platform to be the highlight reel I want the behind the scenes to be shown too! I mean, I love watching behind the scenes of my favourite shows, so why not on my social media platforms? I don’t want young girls to feel how I did recently, feeling out of place with my blemished skin and scars, I want young girls to see we do have spots, flare ups, scars and it’s all normal, it’s all real life. We’re so much more than clear skin filtered photos and it has taken me absolute ages to realise that. I want young girls to grow up being comfortable on social media and it is hard to show inner beauty on such a visual platform but thats why we should be happy to post our not-so-hot days, our messy hair days, insta stories of us with spot cream on and a double chin, it’s really not the end of the world and I think I have finally realised that.
I wanted to end on this by naming 3 things I love about my inner beauty and ask what are your 3 favourite things about your inner beauty? My top 3 characteristics of mine that I love has to be loyalty, honesty and my dry sense of humour!
Now tell me your favourite things about yourself that you can’t physically see
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